The stories we bring home from service are more than just memories; they are living things that can either heal us or hold us captive. On this week’s The Gold Mine, we explored the complex world of “War Stories.” Joined by former US Army Ranger Dr. Harrison Lewis and former Canadian Army soldier Ashley Van Leeuwen, Chance and I moved beyond the telling of tales to dissect the act of telling them. The conversation was a deep dive into the purpose behind our stories: when to share, who has earned the right to hear them, and how our stories must evolve as we do, ultimately framing storytelling not as a performance, but as a vital part of our own growth and service to others.
This Week’s Storytellers:
– Dr. Harrison Lewis: Former US Army Ranger and Doctor of Physical Therapy, bringing insight on reflection, growth, and post-service identity.
– Ashley Van Leeuwen: Former Canadian Army and current RCMP officer, offering perspective on storytelling as a tool for connection and leadership.
Key Insights from Our “War Stories” Discussion:
1. The Story Must Evolve With You
Both Ash and Harrison stressed that a story is not a static monument. The way you perceive and share an event from your first deployment should be radically different 20 years later. As you grow and gain perspective, the narrative itself must mature. If you’re telling the exact same story in the exact same way, you aren’t reflecting on your growth; you’re stuck in a loop.
2. The Purpose is to Elevate, Not Brag
Ash set the tone early by stating that war stories should only be shared outside your inner circle if the purpose is to “bring somebody up, try to elevate them.” A story told for bravado or to establish dominance is empty. The true power of a story lies in its ability to offer a lesson, inspire resilience, or help someone else on their path.
3. The Best War Stories Aren’t About War
Harrison shared a powerful story about revealing his military service life to a new girlfriend, not through a tale of combat, but in a moment of quiet vulnerability. This highlighted a profound truth: the most impactful “war stories” are often about the human moments of transition, connection, and the struggle to integrate those experiences into a new life. They’re about the aftermath, not just the action.
4. You Have to Earn the Story
Ash made the critical point that an audience must earn the right to hear certain stories. When speaking to kids who ask inappropriate questions, he turns it back on them: “Why do you want to know?” If they can’t answer, they haven’t earned the story. This practice of “gatekeeping” isn’t about secrecy; it’s about ensuring a story is shared with intention and respect, not as a spectacle.
5. The Vibe Precedes the Words
If a storyteller shows up with the wrong attitude; arrogance, anger, a need for validation – the story is dead on arrival, no matter how compelling it is. The listener will hear your attitude before your lesson. The attitude destroys the story, making genuine connection impossible.
6. “Stay in Season”
There’s a temptation to drift after a hard life chapter. Harrison offered a powerful closing thought: “Stay in season.” After a difficult experience or a major life transition, there is a temptation to rest on your laurels or mentally check out. His advice is to make the conscious decision to stay engaged, to keep moving forward, and to remain committed to the path you’re on now.
7. The Excavation of Your Past
We explored the concept of “excavation”, the deep work of processing one’s own story. Harrison defined it as “pouring into others,” where he finds his own healing by helping his patients. Ash framed it as the work required to become the “best possible version” of himself for his inner circle. Both perspectives show that this work is not just for you, but for the benefit of those you serve.
Final Thought: A Story is a Responsibility, Not a Trophy.
Measure a war story by the growth it produces, first in the storyteller, then in the listener. A war story is not a static object to be displayed like a trophy; it is a living, evolving tool that carries immense responsibility.
What story do you need to tell differently?
Listen to the full “War Stories” discussion here: War Stories
Keep sharing,
Shaun & The Collective Crew
