In a world that often confuses acceptance with weakness, what does it truly mean to be tolerant? This week on The Gold Mine, we sat down with veteran leader Seb Lavoie to explore the complex and misunderstood concept of “Tolerance.” Starting with its etymology – “the power or capacity to bear up in the face of pain or hardship” – we moved beyond the modern social definition to discuss tolerance as a measure of strength. The conversation navigated the critical line between healthy boundaries and harmful mediocrity, the importance of fact-finding before judgment, and how our personal and institutional tolerances shape our lives.
This Week’s Leader:
– Seb Lavoie: Veteran, leader, and high-performance coach, offering deep insights on the strategic application of tolerance.
Key Insights from Our “Tolerance” Discussion:
1. The Original Definition: Endurance, Not Acquiescence
We began by establishing that the original meaning of tolerance is about endurance, fortitude, and the capacity to bear weight. This reframed the entire conversation, moving tolerance away from a passive acceptance of everything and toward an active, disciplined choice about what pressures you are strong enough to withstand.
2. Tolerance vs. Tolerate: Days vs. Decades
I made the distinction between the short-term act of tolerating a situation and the long-term attribute of tolerance. A fleeting moment can be tolerated, but true tolerance is a capacity built over decades of discipline and consistency. It’s a measure of your foundational strength, not just your patience in a single moment.
3. The Danger of Boundary Erosion
Seb warned against a one-sided tolerance that leads to the erosion of personal boundaries. When we tolerate things that feed into mediocrity or undermine our core values, we are not being open-minded; we are allowing drift. Recognizing when your tolerance has shifted into a negative space is a critical act of introspection.
4. Intolerance vs. Healthy Boundaries
There is a vast difference between being intolerant and setting a healthy boundary. The distinction often comes down to the “vibe.” Intolerance is a rigid, hostile rejection, while a healthy boundary can be communicated with respect and clarity. The goal is to say no to the wrong things and yes to the right things without becoming an intolerant person.
5. Fact-Finding Before Judgment
Seb highlighted our tendency to assign nefarious motives to others, especially in situations like being cut off in traffic. We invent an entire backstory for the other person based on a single data point. He argued for the importance of fact-finding, or at least allowing for other possibilities, before applying our judgment. Our reaction changes dramatically when we consider the person might be having the worst day of their life.
6. The Individual vs. The Institution
We touched on the difference between institutional tolerance and personal tolerance. At some point in your career, your personal standards may become higher or lower than the institution’s. Recognizing this separation is a key part of your individual evolution. When yours is higher, lead by example. When yours is lower, fix it.
Final Thought: Tolerance is an Active Measure of Strength.
True tolerance is not about passively accepting everything the world throws at you; it is the disciplined and deliberate practice of bearing necessary weight while holding firm boundaries against what will weaken you. It requires introspection to know your values, fortitude to endure challenges, and the wisdom to know the difference between what you must bear and what you must refuse.
What are you tolerating that is feeding mediocrity in your life?
Listen to the full “Tolerance” discussion here: Tolerance
Keep building your endurance,
Shaun & The Collective Crew
