Beyond Small Talk: The Price and Power of Group Settings
Hey Collective Crew, Shaun here, diving into this week’s The Gold Mine podcast episode. Joined by the insightful pro MMA fighter and CAF veteran Nick “The Fury” Felber, Chance and I explored the raw, almost electric energy found in powerful group settings – you know… the tribe, the team, the crew that pushes you higher.
Sparked by a recent impromptu gathering of high-caliber individuals at Seb Lavoie’s Cardston ranch, our gathered conversations quickly bypassed the superficial to dissect why these powerful connections feel so vital, what they demand from us, and the profound difference between simply being present and truly belonging.
This Week’s Goldmine Fueled By:
Nick “The Fury” Felber: Pro MMA Fighter, 3 RCR/3 PPCLI Veteran, sharing potent insights from the cage and the field.
6 Key Insights We Uncovered That Are Relevant To All Power Groups:
1. The Instant Elevation: Level Up or Step Aside
Do you remember walking into a room and feeling an immediate, unspoken requirement to raise your game? Both Nick and I shared that same sensation during our recent gathering at Seb Lavoie’s ranch in Cardston AB. These kinds of elevation demand aren’t based on an intimidation to level up, but rather in these kinds of settings it is an energetic imperative. This form of elevation wasn’t about any one individual dominating the scene; it was the collective energy itself that created an expectation of excellence, forcing everyone present to shed complacency and engage fully, right from the first handshake. As Dan Cameron noted online, often others in the room who are standing quietly off to the side can feel the exact same energetic imperative to elevate.
2. Beyond the Weather: Craving Velocity and Shared Creation
Why do these intense interactions feel so good, even if exhausting? Because they bypass the “quicksand” of mundane small talk. With the right crew, as Nick described, you adopt a “sponge mentality,” absorbing and contributing at an accelerated rate. I find it easy to instantly engage with people operating at velocity, focused on mutual learning and creation. Time disappears in those kinds of rooms. Because every interaction is meaningful. Observing new wisdom being forged cooperatively in realtime is exciting and rewarding, unlike repeatedly predictable conversations relying on past models of thought which have failed to move the needle.
3. The Unspoken Bond: Shared Scars and Mental Constructs
How do we achieve that velocity so quickly? Often, it’s through shared hardship. Nick’s point about Battle School resonates – you don’t need to explain the misery of frozen tank ruts or 150lb rucks to someone who endured it. That shared suffering creates an immediate, unspoken understanding. Similarly, recognizing someone’s background (fighter, military, entrepreneur) allows us to build quick mental constructs, assuming a baseline of competence and grit, letting us dive straight into meaningful exchange.
4. The Real Currency: Blood, Sweat, Tears… and Consistency
Here’s where the conversation got really potent: getting into the high-level rooms we were discussing isn’t free. The price of admission, the “true currency,” is paid long before you arrive – through your blood, sweat, and tears. It’s the cost of the experiences that forged you, the willingness to face adversity. But here’s a critical distinction: This isn’t a one-time payment. As I emphasized, past glories – that blood, sweat, and tears shed years ago – doesn’t grant you an eternal hallway pass. As Nick said, Rent is due every single day. To show up at the table you need to be in the game regularly and currently, consistently putting in the effort, demonstrating your value now, not just relying on a faded reputation.
5. Once You Are at the Table: Investment Is Required
Paying the entry fee only gets you through the door. Once you sit down at that metaphorical high-stakes poker table, you need to earn your right to stay. You can’t just absorb; you must contribute, engage, and invest back into the group’s energy. As we discussed with the poker analogy, showing up unprepared, playing foolishly, or failing to read the room ensures you won’t be invited back. You need to demonstrate you belong in that moment, bringing your best game, vulnerabilities and all (leaving the shield at the door, as Nick put it), ready to both challenge and be challenged. It’s about actively participating in the creation of value, not just consuming it.
6. Failure as Fuel: The Foundation of Earned Confidence
Nick’s raw honesty about his early fight losses provided a powerful example. Those failures, faced head-on, weren’t derailments; they were crucibles that forged the fighter who later won Fight of the Year against the odds. Facing failure, learning from it, and betting on yourself despite it builds an undeniable, earned confidence. It’s a confidence you can feel when you meet someone like Nick – it’s built on the solid ground of overcome adversity, not on fragile ego or unearned hype. Good groups understand the importance of failure, its necessity, and they will encourage it… while also supporting you through it, knowing it’s the pathway to genuine growth.
Final Thought: Show Up and Earn It For Your Group, Every Day
The magnetic power of a strong group is undeniable. They accelerate growth, forge deep bonds, and push us beyond perceived limits. Importantly, access to strong groups is an earned process, where you gain entry bit by bit every day. Typically access isn’t granted lightly, and belonging isn’t passive. Strong groups demand a continuous investment of effort, a willingness to be vulnerable, the courage to face failure, and the humility to know that the work is never truly done. You pay your dues to get a foot in the room, and you keep paying to hold your seat at the table. Deserving, by earning, for the group. That’s how it has been for thousands of years. Grab a history book, what I’ve just written is already woven into the chronicles of time, and it has been said in millions of conversations starting with the simplest cave dwellers who began to elevate their own game – striving to increase their odds of survival. And though we aren’t currently living in caves, the pursuit of strong groups is still an important life-defining quest. The price paid is worth it, as the returns – in shared wisdom, mutual elevation, and becoming part of something truly potent – are immeasurable.
Keep paying the rent.
Listen to the full Goldmine discussion here: Group Settings
Keep learning, building, and growing,
Shaun & The Collective Crew
