Hey Collective Crew, Shaun here. What is the difference between reacting to your day and truly living it? On this week’s The Gold Mine, Chance and I sat down with former PPCLI soldier and current trauma therapist Doug Allen to dissect the power of “Deliberate Acts.” Using the military concepts of “hasty” versus “deliberate” operations as a framework, our conversation explored how to apply battlefield discipline to the landscape of our own minds. We covered the critical importance of self-awareness, the mechanics of nervous system recalibration, and how conscious, intentional choices are the catalyst for all meaningful change, whether in combat, in therapy, or in the quiet moments of everyday life.
This Week’s Intentional Guest:
– Doug Allen: Former Canadian Army soldier (PPCLI) and trauma therapist, bridging the worlds of military service and mental wellness.
Key Insights from Our “Deliberate Acts” Discussion:
1. Life as an Operation – Hasty vs. Deliberate
We framed the conversation around the military distinction between a hasty attack (a rapid reaction to a situation) and a deliberate attack (a planned, methodical action). Most of us live in “hasty” mode, running on autopilot. A deliberate life, however, requires taking the time to assess, plan, and act with intention, which starts with the pre-act of deliberating on what you want your day to look like.
2. Recalibrating Your Nervous System
Doug provided a powerful, practical framework for real-time self-awareness, which he calls nervous system recalibration. It involves checking in on five key metrics in any given moment: your breathing (chest or abdomen?), your rhythm (are you frozen or fluid?), your environment (tunnel vision or 360-degree awareness?), your social engagement (connected or disconnected?), and your curiosity. By assessing these, you can consciously shift from a reactive state to a deliberate one.
3. The Necessity of a Pattern Interrupt
I emphasized that to break out of a rut, you need a “pattern interrupt.” This is a conscious break from your established routine. If no one else is providing that challenge for you, it is your personal responsibility to interrupt your own patterns. This could be as simple as changing your daily routine or as significant as taking on a massive new project that forces you to adapt and grow.
4. Capacity is Dynamic, Not Fixed
Doug made the crucial distinction between ability and capacity. You may have the ability to do something, but lack the capacity at that moment due to burnout or exhaustion. However, as we discussed, capacity is not a fixed resource. It is dynamic and can be expanded instantly by being in the right environment, with the right people, and with the right purpose. Your belief about your capacity can be your biggest limitation.
5. The Difference Between Grace and Slack
A critical distinction emerged for living a resilient life. Slack is a pre-action excuse: giving up before you even try because you don’t feel 100%. Grace is a post-action acknowledgement: you give the moment your absolute best, even if it’s not perfect, and then you grant yourself the grace of not beating yourself up for the outcome. One is an abdication of responsibility; the other is a cornerstone of it.
6. The Danger of a Defensive Vibe
We explored how our internal state projects an external reality. If you move through the world with a defensive posture, constantly scanning for threats, you emit a “vibe” that closes you off from connection and opportunity. The challenge is to maintain a neutral, curious state—to observe the world authentically without prejudgment, which allows for genuine connection and growth.
7. The Two-Way Highway – Shaping Your World
The world is not something that just happens to you, nor is it something you can fully control. It is a reciprocal, two-way relationship. You are constantly shaping your environment, and your environment is constantly shaping you. The deliberate act is to become a conscious participant in this dynamic exchange, understanding your patterns to create more positive outcomes.
Final Thought: Deliberate Living is a Practice, Not a Destination.
A deliberate life is built not on grand gestures, but on the foundation of small, conscious choices made every single day. It requires trading the comfort of autopilot for the continuous, challenging work of self-awareness, intention, and action. It is in these tiny, deliberate acts that we reclaim our agency and become the architects of our own experience, moment by moment.
What is one pattern you will deliberately interrupt today?
Listen to the full “Deliberate Acts” discussion here: Deliberate Acts
Keep choosing,
Shaun & The Collective Crew
